Lucius and Arthur Hey, it Could Happen
by Morag X. Henegev
Summary: A nice Lucius/Arthur slash, starting off with Arthur trying to raid Malfoy Manor. A lot of intersting scenes... co-writen with BRC, please review
1. Bath from Heaven

WARNING: this is a slash fanficion.   
  
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine. Also, I claim only half of the story as mine, and the other half is co-writen by BRC. Please review.   
  
  
Arthur gave the mansion a determined glare. This time he would make sure every part of that house was free from Dark Magic. He had to get Lucius for something. This time it was personal.  
  
  
A young girl met them at the door, in what looked curiously like a cross between a French maids outfit and proper wizarding robes. Maybe Malfoy did like a few of the Muggle conventions after all.  
  
  
"Sirs," she said politely. She stood aside and let them into the grand entrance. It was better than Hogwarts. The staircase was pristine and immaculate, in fact everything was. The busts of famous, powerful wizards lined the hallways, no sign of dust or cracks. This house was free from any kind of wear and tear.  
  
  
"Master would like you to take a floor each, it would make the job quicker," the maid announced.   
  
"If you'd like to follow me," she said directly to Arthur.  
  
  
He looked back as his two workmates were lead elsewhere.  
  
  
"We'll have to take the servant staircase," she said quickly.   
"Madam's up and she'll be likely to snap. Sir requested you start on the third floor. There's not much else above that, you needn't check it."  
  
  
"I'm afraid I have to. Ministry regulations require that each and every room be searched," said Arthur.   
  
This house was about six stories tall in some places. It was quite a strange mansion with parts added here and there. It was almost like the Burrow but richer and older.  
  
  
She frowned. "You'll have to talk to Sir about that then. We servants daren't go up there."   
She slowed down, walked to a large oak door and gently rapped on the door.  
There was a tired grunt from inside. She opened the door very slightly and poked her head through.   
  
"Ministry's here to see you, Sir."  
  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
  
"I sent them off, sir, just like you said to. Mr, erm…" she looked at Arthur. "Sorry, what's your name?"  
  
  
"Weasley. Arthur Weasley."  
  
  
"Mr Arthur Weasley, sir."  
  
  
"Let him in," the voice yawned.  
  
  
She opened the door and stepped out of the way for Arthur. He walked in and looked around at the panelled walls and rich paintings.  
Lying on a grand four-poster bed was Lucius, wrapped in a silk dressing gown, reading.   
  
He looked up and smirked.  
  
  
"Why do you look so surprised? I thought this is what everyone expects the Malfoy Manor to look like. It's been in the paper several times these past few years…" He said lazily.  
  
  
"R-right, well. Yes, I'm here to search the manor…."  
  
  
"Go on then. Don't mind me…. But do watch out for Narcissa," Lucius said, getting back to the book.  
  
  
Arthur stared. "What? You w-want me to…. start here?"  
  
  
"Please do, it gives the maids a chance to hide the shrunken heads and scalps elsewhere."  
Suddenly, curiosity got the better of Arthur. "Why do you have maids? I mean, what's wrong with House Elves?"  
  
  
Lucius put the book down. "House Elves don't make the place look good. Young maids…" -he watched one bring in a tray with a teapot and two cups - "make the place look nice… And keep me entertained."  
The maid gave him an enticing smile and scuttled back out, having poured two cups of tea.  
  
  
"Help yourself," Lucius said, almost politely, nodding to a cup.  
  
  
"I really should get started," Arthur said quickly. He looked around the room, but where to start? This single room was bigger than his living room. He walked over to the wardrobe and opened it. He didn't like this. He could feel Lucius' severe gaze going straight through him, yet when he glanced over, Lucius was just reading, sipping tea. Maybe he was imagining things. What did he care what Lucius thought anyway? He was just annoyed about having his house raided.   
After half an hour searching the room, it seemed nothing incriminating could be found. He turned around to tell Lucius he was going to move to the next room.  
  
  
"Give me that!" Arthur gasped when he saw what Lucius was holding in his hand - a joint.   
  
  
"What?" Lucius shrugged insolently, staring at the big joint and remembering the old days when Macnair and him used to hot box broom cupboards at the Hogwarts.   
  
  
"That joint, it's illegal," snarled Arthur going over to Lucius to take it.   
Lucius gave it to him rather unwillingly, staring at all the high he has lost now. Oh well, that's why he is growing his own cannabis.   
  
"I'm sure it's going to a very good home" Lucius commented insolently as he watched Arthur put the joint out and pack it into a small plastic bag.   
  
  
"Where's the rest?" Arthur turned to Lucius once again, tucking the packet into his robe pocket. Lucius couldn't not notice how Arthur's robes were patched from inside.   
  
  
"That's the last of it, so I hope you appreciate it" replied Lucius knowing that it is so obvious he is lying. Next thing he did was poured some whiskey in the glass.   
  
  
"Don't you have any good habits?" sighed Arthur, watching Lucius drink whiskey all in one shot.   
Lucius chuckled coldly and walked around idly with enigmatic face expression.   
  
He suddenly bent down, lay down on the bed and stroked it.   
"Why don't you hop in and find out?" he said, raising only one of his eyebrows like Sean Connery.   
Arthur turned red automatically.   
  
  
"Your neck's red. Maybe you want a massage...." he said playfully, getting off and walking towards Arthur in firm pace.   
  
  
"Stay back, or I'll, I'll-"   
  
  
"You'll what?" Lucius sneered stepping in front of Arthur.   
  
  
"Stay back Lucius, I mean it."   
Despite Arthur's warning, Lucius took another step towards Arthur, their noses an inch away.   
Lucius gave another of his sneers before he said anything.  
  
  
"You said nothing.... therefore you mean nothing...."   
With that, he turned around and let his gown fall down on the floor.   
Arthur's suspicions were confirmed now – Lucius had nothing under that silk gown of his.   
  
  
"Excuse me, I'm off to have a shower" Lucius said calmly walking away with the grace and innocence of a nun.  
  
  
"Well, at least you have one good habit," Arthur sighed for himself.   
Lucius heard him.   
  
  
"I don't know, I was thinking about inviting a couple of the maids..."   
With that, Lucius lost himself in another room. Arthur wondered how bloody big this house was. And Draco wasn't that all wrong when he made fun of Weasleys' small household - Malfoy Manor could easily be compared to two Windsor Palaces.   
  
  
Arthur heard the water running behind the closed doors of the bathroom.   
He was happy that he could finally leave; yet he wondered how Lucius succeeded to keep his six-pack. But as soon as he gripped the handle to open the door and leave, he noticed Lucius' silk robes on the floor. He turned around hastily to pick them up from the floor. On the way to be picked up, the robes found their way to Arthur's nose. Lucius' robes smelt strongly of Old Spice.  
  
  
Arthur walked put of the room, only to come face to face with Narcissa, or at least he'd thought it was Narcissa. It certainly looked like her, but the woman was younger and held less of an offended expression. She still had that famous insolent Malfoy gaze.   
  
"Where's Lucius?"  
  
  
Arthur pointed to the door over the hallway. She turned around and opened it.   
  
  
"Father?"  
  
  
"What the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
  
"I have a right to visit my home."  
  
  
"Excuse me Mrs Kilne, but I believe you live elsewhere now."  
She made an angry, yet delicate sound.   
  
"I'm here to see mother actually."  
  
  
"Why did you come looking for me?"  
  
  
"Because there's a strange man in your room," she said accusingly.  
  
  
"The house is being checked. Go and plot with your mother then, keep her quiet for a while."  
  
  
She made that amusing sound again, glared at Arthur and stormed off down the corridor.  
There was silence for a moment.  
  
  
"Not going to check the bathroom then?"  
Arthur looked at the door. It was still slightly open. He could see pearl white walls and soft fluffy towels. There was a splash of water.   
  
"Fetch the soap would you, Arthur."  
  
  
Arthur stood, frozen in the Hallway.  
  
  
"I am covered up you fool. Watch out for the evil scrubbing brush though. It's killed three House Elves to date," he joked darkly.  
Arthur sighed and walked in. Malfoy wasn't completely covered up. He just had a rather large amount of bubbled floating on the water. Arthur could see the steam waft off of Lucius' arms as they rested on the large rim of the step-in bath.   
  
Lucius pointed to a small cabinet. "It should be in there," he ordered.   
Arthur sighed and retrieved a fresh bar of soap.   
  
"Are you like that with all your kids?" he asked suddenly.  
Lucius looked up curiously.   
  
"Whoa there, I only have the two. One of which is married and should be starting her own family."  
  
  
"So you're just going to - to wash your hands clean of her?" Arthur asked, astonished, as he passed the soap.  
  
  
"That's the general idea. She has her husband to leach money from now. She can leave me alone."  
  
  
"That's awful."  
  
  
"That's the Malfoy way. I'm not made out of money you know," he said before dipping his head into the water.   
Arthur watched as his hair gracefully fell about his wet face as he emerged.  
  
  
"Right, well. I'd better be off," he said as he began to get a funny feeling in places he'd rather not think about right now.  
He walked up the wide corridor into the next room along. It was fairly empty. There was a large bookshelf, a few cupboards, but all they contained were family albums and books about the achievements of the Malfoy family.  
Arthur pulled the nearest album out and looked in it. It was the birth of their daughter, Medea. There weren't any pictures of her as a new-born. She looked to be a good few months old when the pictures began. They were all posed for, and quite plain. They were like faultless family portraits. They just weren't…. natural.  
  
  
He flipped through; it was all the same so he put it back. After confirming there was nothing of importance there he moved along.  
The rooms weren't all that interesting after a while. One was full of musical instruments, a grand piano and cello, that kind of thing.   
Draco seemed to have three rooms to himself and even his own bathroom. There was a room for his old toys and childhood things, another with books and school things and then his bedroom. He had a few things from Zonko's but still nothing incriminating.   
  
  
He closed the door and turned around. This time he came face to face with Narcissa.  
  
  
"So you suspect my son of dabbling in the Dark Arts now?" she said venomously.  
Arthur backed away a little.   
  
"No, I-I er, well, you see…."  
  
  
"He has to check the whole house, dear. The longer you stall him the longer he'll be," Lucius said calmly.  
Narcissa spun round on the spot.   
  
"Look at you! In a bathrobe! Have you no shame? First you let this filthy, disgusting, shameful excuse of a wizard into my home…. Then you stroll around like that! Go."  
Lucius' eyes flicked to the ground, and he slowly turned and left.  
Arthur had now backed into the wall.  
  
  
She glared down at him. "If one word about this reaches the ears of another living soul I will come after you, and I will hurt you…. I will hurt to so much y-."  
  
  
"I understand Mrs Malfoy. Not a word," he laughed nervously.  
  
  
He finished with the third floor after many hours. He suddenly realised how hungry he was. So did Lucius when Arthur's stomach made a desperate gurgling sound.  
  
  
"I'll have a message sent to the Kitchens. It appears your comrades are finished downstairs… I'll take you to them."  
He led him down the stairs into a room, just as grand as the others, where his workmates were sitting nervously. It appeared they too had met Narcissa.  
Arthur sat down as Lucius left.  
  
  
"Well? Anything?" Gorman Birder asked.  
Arthur shook his head.   
  
"What about you?"  
  
  
"A few books, mainly written by Malfoys, nothing to get him for though," said Francis Maccleboot.   
  
"Have either of you found the study yet?"   
They both shook their heads.  
  
  
"The study is… secure in the dungeons. I shall take you down Arthur," Lucius said curtly as he returned with more whiskey.  
  
  
"What about the other floors?" Gorman asked.  
  
  
"No need to go up there. They haven't been used since my great grandfather lived here."   
Francis frowned. "We have to check, it's-."  
  
  
"Fine, fine. But not the fifth room on the fifth floor. It took three generations to capture that poltergeist and secure it."  
  
  
"There is no need," Narcissa snapped from the doorway. "There is nothing up there. We haven't even been up there!"  
  
  
"Then how do you know there is nothing?" Francis said bravely.  
Narcissa's glare could have frightened a Dementor. "Lucius, take that man to your study. The rest of you will check the fourth floor. Then, you will leave."  
Even Lucius was nodding obediently.  
  
  
"Mother, are you coming?" Medea drawled.   
  
  
"Where are you going…dear?" Lucius asked.  
Narcissa suddenly smiled, like a crocodile. "Shopping, sweetheart."  
  
  
Lucius was about to speak up, but seemed to think better of it.  
They heard her yap several orders before the front door finally slammed. Lucius stood up and walked out. Arthur quickly followed.   
  
"About this study…. And the fourth floor…."  
  
  
"Yes, yes," Lucius snapped. "The maid will bring you some food, then I shall take you."  
Arthur watched him walk away. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy… He shook the thought out of his head and followed the maid back into the small room with the others.   
  
  
They ate a small meal, after a few comments about whether or not it was poisoned, then Lucius was back, his hair, which had still been a little wet, was now sleek and dry. It looked so alluring, the thought of running your fingers through the liquid gold…  
  
  
"Arthur. This way. Pricilla? Take these gentlemen to the fourth floor."  
The maid nodded and led them away.  
The dungeon study was hidden away through a cloakroom, down a passage, winding stairs and through a quiet stone corridor, deep underground. He opened the door and suddenly, dozens of candles lit the quiet, gothic room. There was a large oak desk, more bookshelves and a few strange, but innocent, contraptions around the place.   
  
Lucius walked to his desk, sat down and shifted something. Arthur curious to know what it was began to examine the things on the desk.  
Most of it was papers and forms, but underneath one was what looked like the corner of a worn photo. Arthur flipped through, trying hard to grin as he noticed the panic on Lucius' face. He felt a funny chill scatter over his body. There was something about being alone in this room, having power over Malfoy…. Something he liked.   
  
His thoughts were turned away as he revealed the photo. It was Narcissa asleep, with a new-born baby lying beside her, and Lucius looking over them both with a proud, genuine smile.   
  
  
Lucius cleared his throat. "I assure you it's quite harmless."  
  
  
"It's quite nice," Arthur said thoughtfully.   
Lucius snatched it up. He opened the draws and strolled to the other side of the room.  
Arthur inspected them, but it was just more work papers, and another photo like the last, but with a young blonde girl, who seemed to be giggling as she watched her mother and baby brother sleeping.  
  
  
"Well," Arthur said finally. "Looks like everything's clear. I'll leave you to your business."  
  
  
  
Arthur arrived home late. He Apparated on the porch of the Burrow and went inside. Just as he was taking his shoes off: "Arthur, where the hell have you been?"  
  
  
Arthur rolled his eyes and entered the kitchen. Molly stood there with her hands on her hips, holding big cooking spoon in her right hand. The table was packed with Weasley kids (excluding Bill and Charlie), and Harry and Hermione were there.   
  
  
"Hello kids" Arthur sighed, sitting down beside Harry.   
  
  
"Hi Dad" and "Hello Mr Weasley" was heard.   
Molly snatched the frying pan with sausages and put it in the middle of the table.   
  
  
"Harry dear, you won't mind four of them" said she, pouring four onto Harry plate. Harry nodded silently and started eating. He wondered why Mrs Weasley liked making sausages so much? But he grabbed the knife and cut through the big juicy one.   
  
  
"Arthur, what were you doing until now?" she asked.   
  
  
"I was checking the Malfoy Manor" Arthur sighed.   
  
  
"Oh, really" said Ron. Harry looked at Mr Weasley in peculiar way.   
  
  
"Arthur, what did I tell you about Malfoys?" Molly snapped at him.   
  
  
"You didn't say anything" Arthur looked away, eating.   
  
  
"Arthur, either you tell me what I've told you about Malfoys or you won't get you-know-what tonight," Molly threatened him.   
  
  
"Don't bite more than you can chew" Arthur said in a really monotonous tone.   
  
  
"Good, now tell us, how is it there?"   
Arthur just opened his mouth to say something when he noticed the smell - His house didn't smell like the Malfoy Manor. His house especially didn't smell pleasantly like   
Lucius' room. Or Lucius' robes...  
  
  
Not that his house stank, it just had that ordinary kitchen smell.   
  
  
"I arrived there in the morning. The maid that looked like a prostitute took me to see Lucius. Lucius was in his room, which I had to inspect. And guess what? I turned around to inspect his closet. His closet is filled with black shirts, cloaks, silver silk shawls, pants, and other things; he has quite nice dressing taste.   
  
  
"Nevertheless, as I found nothing related to the Dark Arts in his closet I turned around just to find him smoking a joint"  
  
  
Arthur told his story in pleasant tone. Molly's hair went up on word 'Joint'.   
  
  
"Oh my God, isn't that so bad?" George Weasley jumped.   
  
  
"Joint and cannabis and hash... that can make you so dumb" Fred added.   
  
  
"I wonder what kind was it?"   
  
  
"I bet it was sass."  
  
  
"No, it was hydro."  
  
  
"Rich people who do weed usually do chronic... I bet it was chronic..."  
  
  
"But you can have bad trips with chronic sometimes, even though really rare..."  
  
  
"Oh, those can be so bad..."  
  
  
"You two seem to know too much about matter as this" reproached Mrs Weasley in really icy tone.   
  
  
"We just - erm - read about it. You know, we like to keep ourselves educated," said George innocently. Ron, Harry, and Hermione gave them sceptical looks.   
  
  
"And did you find anything, Father?" asked Percy, puffing his chest up.   
Ever since Mr Crouch died he had taken the control of the department for himself. He didn't miss ol' Crouch anymore, especially now when he would be bossing everyone around.   
  
  
"Nothing worth charging Malfoy for" Arthur sighed.   
  
  
"Did anything else interesting happen?" Molly asked.   
  
  
"I don't think so" shrugged Arthur. He is not about to tell Molly that he saw Lucius naked. That would get her horny.   
Especially those muscles Lucius had on his back... and he had nice ass, Arthur thought.   
The rest of dinner was spent talking about Hogwarts and Quidditch.   
Afterwards, a nice evening was spent in the living room.   
  
It was around eleven o'clock when Molly put everyone to bed.   
  
Arthur had some time to himself in the their bedroom, while Molly was tucking in Ginny. Arthur took a bath. He would usually take a shower, but tonight he decided to take a nice relaxing bath, just like Lucius did.   
When it was done, he took out a robe - it wasn't silk robe - and went and waited for Molly.   
  
'Another night of torture for me' he thought, sitting on the bed.   
Several minutes later, Molly appeared at the door, wearing a smile.   
  
  
"Honey, I missed you today" she said, coming over to Arthur. Arthur smiled at his wife. They'll have sex tonight. And the only thing Arthur wanted to do was sleep.   
  
Unfortunately that wasn't on Molly's schedule. Sex was on her schedule. Sex every night. Some men would give everything for a woman nagging them for sex. Wonder now why Weasleys' have so many kids...  
  
  
"I missed you, too" Arthur said, taking his robe off. He had white briefs on.   
  
  
"Ooh, you're sexy..." she hissed taking her house gown off. She was left in lacy blue bra and a lacy blue thong. Her body didn't quite match her sexy underwear.   
  
  
She pushed him on the bed, suddenly, and jumped onto him, moaning.   
Working with her mouth, she travelled up and down his chest. It wasn't that hairy, it had several curly red hairs on.   
  
  
They proceed to the 'usual part' and that night it was good. Arthur wanted to complain that he didn't feel like cuddling with her at the moment.   
  
  
He fell asleep and woke up in the middle of night from a strange dream.   
Lucius Malfoy dressed all in white, showing him slides of Thailand. Arthur then realised he could not stop thinking about Lucius. During dinner, the only thing he thought about was Lucius. Lucius, Lucius, Lucius... Not even when Lucius did something vile to him did he spend so much thinking about him. And now Lucius' lean posture was etched in his mind. It must be because he spent whole last day with Lucius, Arthur tried to tell himself. 


	2. Return of Lockhart and GLo

WARNING: this is a slash fanficion.   
  
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine. Also, I claim only half of the story as mine, and the other half is co-writen by BRC. Please review.   
  
~~~**~~~  
  
'Planet earth is blue is there's nothing I can do'  
David Bowie  
  
~~~**~~~  
Lucius was walking through the grounds with Severus Snape. He'd come, not only on a social visit, but also to bring some important news to Lucius, regarding his son.  
  
"I still don't think so. I'm sure there are other reasons why he's dropping behind," Lucius said unsurely.  
  
Severus shook his head. "I'm not sure. It's getting worse, I've been keeping an eye on him, and I tell you it's true. It can be helped though...."  
  
"No, no away. Absolutely not. He'll look like a fool."  
  
Severus sighed and leant on a fence, pulling something out of his top pocket. He hit the end of his wand on the fence, lighting it up and lit the small joint he'd pulled from his pocket.  
  
"What's that?" Lucius asked longingly.  
  
Severus shrugged. "I just happened to see this rather intriguing plant as I was collecting ingredients from Sprouts restricted Greenhouse. Seeing as she's hidden the Cannabis from the staff, I thought I'd give this a go."  
  
"How is it?" Lucius asked, edging closer.  
  
Severus looked up over the land. "Not bad. Doesn't quite get you off your head, but certainly does make everything look terribly green."  
  
"You're looking at a field," Lucius smirked, snatching it from his friends grasp. It had barely touched his lips when it was knocked away.  
  
"Draco!" he roared.  
  
Draco, whose hand was burning, threw it to the ground. "Sorry, I thought it was the snitch."  
  
Severus gave Lucius an evil told-you-so sneer. Lucius glared at him then turned to his son.  
  
"Draco, read that sign over there," Lucius said, pointing.  
  
Draco screwed up his face as he strained to see. "Erm.... No trespassing?"  
  
Lucius stared at his son in disbelief. "Oh my Great Lord, it's true... Severus you were right...."  
  
"What are you talking about father?" Draco asked, looking at Snape.  
  
"Draco, there was no sign, only that goat. Do you know what that means?"  
  
His face lit up. "One of the goats has gotten loose... wait.... we have goats? Where?"  
  
Lucius sighed. "Draco. I think we need to go to Diagon Alley, you need to go to Occhiola's Opticians."  
  
The look of horror on Draco's face would have been quite funny if Lucius was high.... He looked down at the dirty spliff and sighed heavily.  
  
Narcissa was on the warpath when they reached the manor. She was chasing maids about and screeching.  
  
"Lucius! I need more shoes! I hardly have enough to go with my blue dresses!" she whined.  
  
"Alright, aright," he said watching the pert posterior of a passing maid. "We need to get Draco glasses anyway."  
  
There was suddenly a lot of shouting from Draco and Narcissa as they protested.  
  
Severus watched without much interest. Things only got good when Narcissa snatched Lucius' cane.  
"Narcissa, do hurry up!" Lucius shouted down the corridor.  
  
"I need to make sure my clothes match! I haven't got any Baby Blue heels! I need Baby blue heels!" she shrieked back.  
  
"Narcissa! Just wear anything!"  
  
Her head popped around the doorframe of the big Wardrobe room. "Do you want me to look like I can't afford to coordinate? I'll have to wear my green dress."  
  
Lucius sighed and went downstairs. Even Snape in his most depressing mood was better company than Narcissa on a good day sometimes.  
  
"You two look happy," he said amusedly as he walked into the chillingly silent living room.  
  
Snape was sat by the fire on one of the claw-footed armchairs. Draco was sat upright and sour faced on a chair by the desk.  
  
"I don't need glasses," he whispered bitterly, shooting a nasty look at Snape.  
  
Snape's lips curled into a slight smile and Lucius looked down at the desk. It was littered with paper articles; Snape had obviously been trying to get Draco to read them.  
  
"Well Draco, as much I hate to admit it, I think you do."  
  
"Can't I just have treatment? They can do it with wands now; they shoot a light into your eye. I heard all about it!"  
  
"It's far too dangerous. What if it took off half of your face? There's no reversing it. You'll just have to wear glasses and hope your eyes sort themselves out."  
  
"But I'll look like Potter!"  
  
There was stiff silence. "No you wont. We'll get you some decent glasses, not those round hoops Potter wears around his eyes," Lucius sniffed indignantly.  
  
Draco slumped in the chair.  
  
"Father? Where's mother? She said we were going shopping," Medea smiled almost pleasantly as she burst into the room. "Oh, Hello Professor Snape."  
  
Lucius' brow furrowed. "Medea? Where did you come from? Have you been- erm- smoking? Because you know I'll have to confiscate whatever it is, don't you?"  
  
She stared stonily at Lucius. "I just arrived, actually. And what makes you think I've been smoking?"  
  
"You're in a good mood," Draco sighed.  
  
"Shut up, Draco. I'm in a good mood because my poor husband is in hospital."  
  
Lucius panicked. If anything was wrong she might come home, she might become dependant on him again. Well, on his money vault. "Is it anything serious?"  
  
"Well, the doctors aren't sure yet. But just think of the fortune I'll inherit if it is!"  
  
Lucius thought about it, maybe this wasn't so bad. "Oh, wait a moment. Don't you have to bare an heir first?"  
  
The colour drained from Medea's face. "You mean I have to sleep with him? Father you've seen him! He's older than you! He's fat, he smells!" Medea shrieked sitting on the other armchair.  
  
"Well, I'm sure he'll be fine. He's very wealthy, he'll have the best doctors," Lucius reassured her.  
  
"Fine? I'd rather be skint than sleep with him! I can just come home!"  
  
Lucius choked.  
  
"You could always have an affair," Snape said quietly. "It is the Malfoy way after all."  
  
"Are you hitting on my daughter?"  
  
Snape looked up slowly. "Of course not," he said quietly.  
  
Narcissa finally came down in an Emerald Green getup.  
  
"I need at least 5 more pairs of shoes to look half decent," she scowled.  
  
"You'll be wanting 10 then?" Lucius sighed.  
  
They left the house with Snape feeling quite glad he didn't have a family.  
"We'll be going to the Wiz-Mart first, to get you some underwear, Ron," Mrs Weasley announced, whilst the Weasley herd followed her.  
  
"Mum!" squealed Ron, almost tripping over a rock. It wasn't easy keeping up with Mrs Weasley's quick step. Ginny gave a quiet giggle.  
  
At the back, Fred and George walked, talking to each other in hushed voices.  
  
"What are you two, trouble makers, up to?" Mr Weasley asked.  
  
"We're to visit our dealer... I mean our 'tutor', His name is Rasta JC Mack, and he's Lee's cousin," said George, fiddling with metal weed pipe in his robe pocket.  
  
"Yeah, he's always in Weed-Land store... which is right around the corner," Fred realised, and in the next second the twins were already gone, leaving the rest.  
  
"Arthur, I told you not to let them go!" Mrs Weasley snarled at him from the front. "I have to buy them some underwear, too."  
  
They walked for some time, passing the small and convenient shops of Diagon Alley. Upon entering Wiz-Mart, through glass sliding doors, Mrs Weasley spoke to Harry:  
  
"Harry dear, you need to go and buy new glasses. You could save the money you just withdrew from the Gringotts if you go to the Wiz-Mart optician... They carry the line that Gilderoy Lockhart personally designed."  
  
"Uhm... I think I'll stick with something more traditional," answered Harry earnestly.  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart quickly recovered from his loss of memory. Now, after he finally came out the closet, with his boyfriend, Betty, he had begun designing his own clothes and accessories, under the name of G.Lo.  
  
Mr Weasley lost himself in the book section with Percy, while Hermione and Ginny went to check out make-up section of this big wizarding department store.  
  
Harry and Ron were left to mercy of Mrs Weasley, especially after she announced she ought to get some 'soft and warm' undies for Harry, too.  
  
"This pair is perfect. It really goes with your green eyes," said Mrs Weasley, holding up a pair of spandex briefs.  
  
"Uhm... could we stick with something more... conservative?" said Harry, clutching tightly in his hand a pack of six ordinary pairs of boxers.  
  
"If you wish," replied Mrs Weasley rather annoyed, and grabbed a pack of white cotton briefs that each had a day of the week written on them for Ron. Ron scoffed silently.  
  
On the way to the cashier, Mrs Weasley picked up underwear for Fred and George, a home improvement magazine, and met up with Hermione, Percy, Arthur, and Ginny.  
  
Mr Weasley and Percy had bought nothing, while Ginny and Hermione couldn't carry as much make-up and beauty products as they were buying.  
  
After everything was paid for, Mrs Weasley sent Harry, Ron, and Hermione to go and buy a new pair of frames for Harry, while she set out, with Arthur, to buy Ginny new pair of robes. Percy had some important business at the Ministry.  
  
In the meantime, Fred and George were far away from all those worldly problems.  
  
"Yo mon, this some good ganga..." George remarked.  
  
"Shut up and smoke that shit!" Rasta JC Mack, pointing at the spliff George had been holding for the last three minutes.  
  
"Chill Rasta..." said George and he took a big toke.  
  
They were chilling in the back of the Weed-Land, surrounded by Jamaican artefacts and sitting on the green furniture.  
  
"Put up some beat, mon," said Fred, upon receiving the joint George passed him.  
  
"Beenie Mon or Marley?" Rasta asked.  
  
"Marley!"  
  
Rasta flicked with his wand twice, and Marley started playing out of nowhere. 


End file.
